What Are Your Anchors Part II–ACCEPTANCE

Dara LevanBlog4 Comments

As I write, the wind is roaring and rain pellets are pounding the pavement. Today’s wet, wild weather is a timely setting for this three-part Every Soul Has A Story series about anchors. I introduced this topic last week when I shared about my first anchor, which is connection. 

Anchors are invisible yet grounding and stabilizing. Anchors strengthen our resilience just when we may collapse, like the trees that are bending but not breaking during these Florida summer storms. My second of three anchors is acceptance. I could simplify this concept and end right here with “it is what it is.”

Although that statement is true, it is superficial and incomplete. Yes, “it is what it is” may help me cope during a life event such as a death or diagnosis. However, I am committed to being honest, authentic, and vulnerable in how I live and as an author. It’s not always easy. Join me as I delve deeper into my evolving anchor of acceptance.

For me, acceptance means embracing the strengths and challenges that comprise all human beings. I define acceptance as meeting people where they are at and loving someone for who they are, even when/if this challenges or conflicts with my own expectations. Acceptance is understanding that all is as it should and will be, even when circumstances and outcomes are not what I envisioned. This is tough for me.

Acceptance has been how I have tried to live since I was a young girl. I’ve accepted that people do not change. I’ve accepted that not all souls are on a purposeful path of love, light, and insight. I’ve accepted that I cannot control others’ actions, gestures, or words.

However, I know that acceptance is difficult. In fact, I realized how tough it can be to fully accept a person or situation as I sifted through my thoughts like prepping flour prior to baking. How can I honestly claim acceptance as my anchor if I still struggle with fully letting go?

I believe self-acceptance is necessary to accept other people. I cannot yet (I am working toward mastering this!) let go of how I envision an outcome or interaction. I struggle with feeling disappointed when a loved one doesn’t meet my expectations. Yet I do accept others’ differences. After processing emotions that arise, I accept what is and what will be.

To be frank, I’m posting this blog a bit late because my insightful son proofread it. Alec’s feedback and questions unplugged me. Tears I didn’t even know existed erupted and poured like lava down my cheeks. I am grateful for this precious moment with Alec, and I accept that the timing is just as it ought to be. My husband also pushed me to dive in and not just “stay near the rim,” and I am thankful.

Acceptance is the second of my three lifetime anchors. And I’m still working on solidifying and being consistent in this area. What are your anchors? How do you emerge and thrive as you weather life’s storms? I would love to hear from you! And I look forward to reading your comments about what acceptance means to you.

4 Comments on “What Are Your Anchors Part II–ACCEPTANCE”

  1. Acceptance can be positive for certain instances, but overall I believe through mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our life it is not realistic. If I were to accept that my father dropped dead when I was 16, he was 47, that my mother checked out (37 years old), would I have survived? Acceptance also is a tangible thing when the circumstance is where you have a choice. The challenge with acceptance is that it does not make us stronger and have the ability to overcome from failing forward to success! Dara, this is my favorite of yours because it is what makes us stronger by opposing its essence and reality! I don’t accept acceptance ever! Thank you!

  2. not submitted as “zero” comments appear below.

    Acceptance is a challenge on a personal level in two perspective in how I perceive “acceptance” to be. Accepting people or their expectations or mine is quite different than acceptance of circumstances beyond my control in regard to acceptance of something happening to me or a situation I am confronted with. For example, at 16 my whole life changed from one moment my father was having a serious conversation with me, to the next where he left the room and dropped dead of a heart attack. He was 47, my mother was 37, she checked out and the rest is history. I had no choice I had to get through this and become who I am today in spite of all the variables in how life could or would have been had that tragedy never occurred. I was forced to accept that and deal with how life would never be the same.

    On the other hand, acceptance opposes the above by enabling me to have a choice in accepting “it is what it is” on things. I do have control of. This example would be if I made a decision to do something and it turned out differently than I expected. In these situations I would empower myself to immediately step back and analyze the situation in many aspects to see where I may benefit from the outcome or learn from it and decide to let it go!

  3. not submitted as “zero” comments appear below.

    Acceptance is a challenge on a personal level in two perspective in how I perceive “acceptance” to be. Accepting people or their expectations or mine is quite different than acceptance of circumstances beyond my control in regard to acceptance of something happening to me or a situation I am confronted with. For example, at 16 my whole life changed from one moment my father was having a serious conversation with me, to the next where he left the room and dropped dead of a heart attack. He was 47, my mother was 37, she checked out and the rest is history. I had no choice I had to get through this and become who I am today in spite of all the variables in how life could or would have been had that tragedy never occurred. I was forced to accept that and deal with how life would never be the same.

    On the other hand, acceptance opposes the above by enabling me to have a choice in accepting “it is what it is” on things. I do have control of. This example would be if I made a decision to do something and it turned out differently than I expected. In these situations I would empower myself to immediately step back and analyze the situation in many aspects to see where I may benefit from the outcome or learn from it and decide to let it go!

    Either way, acceptance can defy the outcome or enable me to accept it, having the ability to know the difference is the key to success for me!

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