|What does twenty years mean? I’ve been pondering this question for the last few weeks. My twenty year anniversary was on February 20th. I am beyond grateful for my husband and the life we’ve created together. Last week, I published “The Beauty of Broken Glass.” If you didn’t read it, please click on this link ==> https://daralevan.com/what-is-love-%f0%9f%92%9c/ .|
As I wrote, I realized that the topic of twenty years deserved its own piece. Our lives shift and transform every day. But have you ever consciously contemplated how much changes in a year, a decade, or even two? For some reason, the number twenty caused me to become pensive.
Perhaps because my son is graduating—sniff—from high school this year? (I still cannot believe it.). I also feel sad and worried because my pup is suddenly declining. And those are just two biggies. There are more.
I am not ready for any of this. Yet I understand this is where I am supposed to be at this time. I also know most of what happens around us is out of our control so I’m letting go. To be honest, the first two months of 2020 have been emotionally exhausting. I now understand, after journaling, meditating, and discussion, why I’ve experienced such intense feelings. And I am thankful for the acceleration of my personal growth.
As you may know by now, I am perpetually inquisitive. Before I allowed the deeper emotions to swim to the surface, I retreated to my safe space: reading, researching, and rationalizing. Apparently twenty DOES hold significant meaning in multiple arenas; I surfed the web and became further intrigued.
According to multiple sources, the meaning of number 20 is empowerment. If you keep seeing this number, it’s reportedly a sign of imminent success. I also read that the number twenty is auspicious, and it signifies empowerment. The Hebrew letter “kaph represents the number 20. Kaph is a palm, an open hand, in Hebrew. It represents giving freely with the palm up, or covering sin with the palm down. In the Bible, the number 20 symbolizes completeness. Wow. I connected in various ways with all of these interpretations!
I realize some of you are skeptics; I always honor and welcome your perspective. But please continue reading because I would like to share more personally now. Twenty years has taught me that nothing lasts forever. All situations and feelings are temporary; even the most painful moments will pass. I know, too, that deeply loving people and pets requires vulnerability. It’s scary as h***. It also means loss and eventually acceptance are inevitable. I do wonder when it will get easier.
I’ve also learned that wisdom and intelligence are completely different. In my opinion, wisdom is knowing when to speak up and when to walk away. It’s an inner knowing, which doesn’t always necessitate words.
And it is fostered by humility rather than ego. Wisdom whispers its messages; it cannot be quantified. It is felt intuitively and from the heart rather than the head.
The entire world is a classroom. If you are receptive, you can and do learn from every interaction. I am flabbergasted by how quickly twenty years feels like a blip. I used to inwardly sigh when older friends would say, “I don’t know where the time went.” And now I find similar phrases escaping my mouth.
During sad or difficult seasons, I try to identify the purpose in the pain. When I understand the why behind the what, it helps me process and accept what is. My husband’s granda often said, “Nobody said it would be easy!” He was absolutely right!
|During the past twenty years I have learned:*Forgiveness fosters freedom, well being, and peace. Forgive the person but remember the lesson.|
*Wisdom and intelligence are not synonymous.
*Humility purrs softly; insecurity barks loudly.
*The truth is always revealed.
*Awareness and introspection are necessary agents for change.
*Healing is humbling, messy, exhausting, honest, and authentic.
*Our limbs will creak and gravity will make things droop; let’s be grateful for the sum of our working, upright parts.
*We get older but that doesn’t mean we need to act that way.
*Inner clarity impacts our lives more than external 20/20 vision
*If not now, then when?
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With love and gratitude,