If this sounds like the start of a panic attack, perhaps it is.

My heart is racing, my palms are clammy, and I feel queasy. If this sounds like the start of a panic attack, perhaps it is. It’s also anger, fear, shock, and other indescribable intense emotions. I’m at a statewide leadership conference in Orlando as news alerts are flashing on my cell phone screen.

Then my son texted:

“Roe V Wade just overturned. I am sick.”

I stepped out of the massive ballroom, my neck tense and throat tight, and texted Todd back.

“We need YOU. Your generation. You all must do something.”

I had a different email planned for today. Interesting, too, because I often write to you in the moment; I rarely plan a piece in advance. I almost sent it. But just could not do so. It didn’t feel right; I’ll share it next week.

When something quakes my soul, and the Supreme Court’s un-f***in-believable decision is a ten on the emotional Richter scale, I go inward. I go silent. I seek solitude. I’m in my hotel room right now, the only sound is the whir of the air conditioner and doors slamming in the hallway.

I cannot wrap my head or heart around this horrific news. I’m disconnecting from all media for the rest of the weekend to feel it all. Then I will write until my fingers go numb. And continue the conversation from earlier with my kids.

Then I’ll devour every single bit of information and figure out how to take action.

Before I sign off, please reply to these questions:

How do you process devastating news?

How do we explain this to our children?

How can we show up for each other, our nation, and its future?

I’m at a loss right now. Are you?