Ex”fall”iating and Letting Go With Grace

Death CAN be beautiful. As I marveled at nature’s masterpiece, these are the words that gently and repeatedly floated through my mind. I gazed at the leaves that lingered on the branches. Red, orange, brown, purple, gold, and green hues formed an abstract rainbow against the pale sky.

I continued to walk. The crunching beneath my feet was like a jazz jam session of syncopated beats. Each step sounded different than the one before it. I glanced down and thought about the clear contrast. These leaves were ready. Their time to fall and leave was now.

We don’t know, as human beings, when our time is “up.” It is scary. I admittedly wish I could predict and control how long I’ll be alive. We wish we could know with certainty how long we have with those we love. But all we have is now. I’ve learned this painfully again and again.

There is much to be learned from this season. Autumn has shown me that letting go, releasing, and yes, even leaving the planet, does not have to be frightening. I fell in love with fall as a young child. And now I understand why.

The leaves change; they become a stunning and vibrant collage of color. But the leaves are actually dying. In their final days, leaves of all shapes and sizes shift and move into their last phase of life. It is gorgeous. It is glorious. And it brings me peace and solace. In a matter of days, empty trees will still stand strong and deeply rooted.

For me, fall is a reminder to love gently and release rather than holding on, even when it hurts. I have finally not only embraced but accepted this at a soul-stirring level. Something shifted within my being during a trip to my Stowe, Vermont sanctuary. I am grateful in ways that transcend words.

These trees only remain empty for a few months. In the spring, despite unpredictable winter storms, there is always new growth and life. I am deeply thankful for this visual reminder. Much like the leaves, every season of our lives is colored by our experiences. I realized that when we lose those we love, we can and do survive. And when we have begun to heal, we can not only exist but also, when we are ready, continue to thrive.